I can’t deny that being cheated on hurts like sh*t, but I hope this writing will help you get the bigger picture if you ever experience the same thing – being ‘stabbed’ from behind.
This article wasn’t made to judge anyone out there. Everything expressed here is just my personal opinions which I gathered from my own thoughts and meaningful discussions with my guy and girl friends.
1. Define Your Own Definition of ‘Cheating’
#Discuss the term before you start the relationship in the first place with your partner. It includes how you would like to build this relationship and what are the boundaries for both of you.
Boundaries here are not always about physical actions (bold.underlined).
For some people, sneaking around to see someone else and hide it from your partner is considered cheating.
Others may feel betrayed if their partner start to feel comfortable talking about their personal issues (including their relationship,of course) with other person (esp. those in the opposite sex). I never find anyone who feels happy knowing that their partner feels more comfortable talking to another person (esp. those in the opposite sex) other than their own partner.
I know a man who decided to let his girlfriend know about his conversation with his ex-wife (apparently, they have to do it for the kid).
I know a man who always lets his lady know every single detail of the people he meets in one day. He makes sure that there won’t be any negative assumption or thoughts.
I know a very well-known man who decided not to have a meeting with a woman if there will only be the two of them; because he doesn’t want to deliver a wrong message. He does it, of course, for the sake of his relationship and value of trust.
The bottom line is: when there is a will, there is a way.
Unfortunately, not every person will care enough about this simple little thing. Yet, I believe that if a man/woman loves you for real, they will do it whatever it takes to keep you and the relationship going. PERIOD.
*By being cheated on, you understand that it is indeed very important to protect yourself, and have the same perspective about word “CHEATING” with your partner. Do not open any opportunities for other’s attention to sneak in and blur your feeling toward your partner.
2. It takes “two to tango” but “one wrong choice to burn the ship.”
#Both of you should have contributed to all the problems in your relationship. Whether you like it or not, the situation inside your relationship is created by both of you.
Yet, we always have many options (to solve it), and both of you could have taken different choices.
For whatever reasons, no matter how hard the problem is, never – ever discuss it with someone else (read : the opposite sex who are personally very close to you!). The first person you should talk to about your confusions or unpleasant feelings in the relationship, will always be YOUR PARTNER. Never let her/ him be the last to know and blame her /him because they don’t act as you expect them to. It happens because you simple never tell them, or tell them often enough.
Second opinion from others are good for your consideration, but always think about it wisely. Also, consider your basic purpose of doing it.
Do you sincerely need their opinion? OR are you just trying to get some attention / sympathy OR to attract them with your ‘one-sided-sad-story’?
*By being cheated on, you understand more about the importance of open communication. Always try to be wise and be the adult. Never run away from your partner and talk to her/him about your problems in this relationship and how you guys would like to improve.
#I’m not talking about that literal meaning of naked as not wearing any clothes. (wink) It’s about having that “naked” personality – the true color of someone else’s or yours.
A true color of someone else’s can be clearly seen in time of crisis. Try to observe of how they react and how they try to solve the problem; whether or not they have the eagerness to. Take a step back and see how they reveal their personality.
Most of the first stages of courtship, people tend to show you the sugar-coated and sweet side of them. But once the storm comes, we can see the true color of their personality, and also yours.
*By being cheated on, you can clearly see the quality of a person. No matter how bad the relationship is, cheating cannot be tolerated. Going back to point no 1, always refer to the definition of CHEATING that you agree on in the first place.
4. You Know How Hurt It Is
I will keep this one short.
You know that being cheated on hurts both your feeling and pride. As you know how it feels, you always have the choice for NOT doing it to your partner.
By being cheated on and hurt by it, you simply don’t want others to feel it or to experience it. You understand the importance to heal yourself from this pain, so that you won’t hurt others like this.
5. You Become Stronger
#I got this from an article and I think I should mention it. You would never expect that, actually, someone you trust would have the ability to hurt you so much. Yet, here you are; alive and survived.
You become a stronger person with a bigger heart. The pain has tested your endurance, and there’s no better way to go through it with your patience and forgiveness.
*By being cheated on, you become a stronger person. You become more human.
And now you know, you can’t not learn something from anything 🙂